non-sense

I call bullshit. Major bullshit. In fact, I completely refuse to believe it all together. It must be a trick, a facade, a joke! Please let it all be a joke actually, forreals. Because it's really difficult to accept as a human being who believes we're all worth a chance. What I'm talking about is something concerning me, I don't really know exactly how to put it so I will simply just go. I look on the internet and see these people, people being given (or being tossed into the tides of) fame, for some sort of 'talent'. Be it an artist, a frisbee trick champ, a style blogger or even someone to laugh or gawk at on youtube, to me, they all seem to have one thing in common: they seem to be rich or well off - meaning, pretty much they don't work a real job and have too much free time and money (so it seems). I'm not complaining or saying that things are 'unfair' or that they have it better than anyone else, for all we know, they could be drastically depressed or insecure and the only bandaide is notoriety and attention, kinda sad actually. But that's not my point, what I am getting at is the state of affairs that only allows such privileged people the opportunity and attention to be catapulted into such states of attention and fame. I can't imagine a style blogger who wears the latest kmart or thrift/hand-me-down clothes and gets over 80,000 followers on Instagram or gets their own column in WWD or Vogue, it just doesn't happen. It use to be that the vagrants, the weirdos, the degenerates (those who actually had something original to share), were the ones that became artists, that created new perspectives and modalities to translate their unique view of life...and now who is in the galleries or on the auction block at Sotheby's? Some young cunt who's mommy and daddy paid their way through some expensive art school and they got the backing of some other rich fuck as a patron who figured they could advertise and market them cleverly, regardless of the fact this artist has nothing to say or share with their art, and now they sell their mindless and empty paintings for $100,000 a pop? And this is not being said because they have no talent or are some random anomaly, but rather simply because they were given the means to have all the free time they'd want, all of their expenses paid for, and were given the correct surroundings to help them thrive in one specific modality, basically, they had money before making more silly money, and thus creating a closed cycle.

So what now? What does a poor (and I mean poor, like I gotta hustle for my food poor) striving artist do in such an arena where the contenders are wrought with fancy and expensive tools, or pumped up beyond natural means with the latest super juice/drug to trick the audiences, or just simply able to stand on a golden soapbox and grab attention with a bullhorn of state-of-the-art sonic technology so as no one can possibly hear the murmurs you're actually making? Whispers so deeply involved and entwined with the message that there is a better way to being on this planet, a healthier way of love and discovery, not the banal and stagnant ways of capitalism and ego, the very frame-structure that these heartless and mindless 'talents' base their entireties upon: a crumbling relic of a paradigm.

Well I don't know exactly 'what' to do, but I know what i 'can' do. I can keep trying. I can never give up. I can never be too proud or too egotistical to think for a moment that I am better or am at the top. I can keep believing in humanity and carry on hope to proliferate everywhere I go. I can keep shinning and not let the lower frequencies jumble my tones. I can keep loving, like I've never been loved before.

(this is an excerpt/draft of a coming essay I'm working on)

Brightest reminders

The majesty of something so indescribable, the wonder space creates, the joy of discovery. Blessings treasured with my loved tribe, together we vibe along a resonance of holy love. Sharing and exploring new boundaries undefined. Absolute in it all. Undrawn and unhindered we learn together. Share with me, pretty please. I embrace your eyes meeting mine with honesty. The stars speak new chimes of lessons yet to be experienced. And excitement rings so loudly, screaming out in neon shades of gold. There's no focal point for all of this matters. It's all happening just as it should be.

so time has motion

It's been a long while since I've posted on this blog, my only real blog actually. It's also been a long while since I've actually had the peace of mind and soul to sit and think things out as it seems the past two years have blinked, blurred and blown by with only scars left as recognition that any of it happened. Much has happened, much hasn't and never will happen, but what else is there aside from NOW?

So I've begun creating lots of things, exploring lots of things. The digital world will never make much sense to me, as I believe it's reached a crescendo of interface ability and can only get more weird and spun off in the coming times. With that said, I still post on my instagram and my tumblr and now here I suppose, as a conscious action and choice to reach out to whoever else is wandering the intraweb with their digital appendages, but for what exactly? My answer: to connect. For as hesitant as we are in the physical dimension, we should not be so apprehensive in the digital. Yes it is still us, or rather a version of us, an avatar, but still, there is some essence I believe, something living within our digitized personas. So let us connect. Let us not be, or become, idle voyeurs, mentally masturbating our curiosities by merely viewing life, or this digitized life, at a distance, from the imaginary safe havens we assume we're in. To me, it is only through direct communication and connection that we can become expressions of the true intentions of the designers and creators of the internet: to connect and spread HONEST-conscious experience and understanding with one another, to question our seemingly 'bound' understanding of what it means to be human and on this planet, for someday soon we won't have the opportunities we have today, right NOW.

And to share with this digital world, a bit of what I've been creating, here's an image from the book/collection of assemblage/collage pieces I've been working on for the past few months. Just finished the book of 98 pieces last week and had to spend many many many hours at UCI scanning them, luckily for me they have a large format scanner for me to utilize. here's a sneak peak at what's to come.

new creations

The interweb is crazy these days. Privacy is under threat. Food and water will be next. Staying creative helps a bit. Mostly just posting creative works these days, check them out here

http://lightwrighter.tumblr.com/

here's a sample

Hafu documentary film

Growing up multi-racial and multi-cultural brought a lot of interesting curiosities and perspectives into my life. Some fellow Half-Japanese creators are currently in the finishing stages of completing a documentary film about the "hafu" (half-Japanese, half-other ethnicity) experience in Japan. This project is near to my heart in many ways and I'm personally curious as to how the final film will be.

First of all, as most projects these days, they need aide/help with the funding to finish this project.
Being as broke as I am, I decided to help in my own way and offer up some recent paintings I'd finished.

Please go and check out the site to help

HERE (hafu-film)

thank you and please help spread the word!

October Snow

Chief Wan-Tun had sores that sung chants so irritably lucid that there'd be no going back once the twisted word shattered with the swift swing of the heart's hammer. Dripping with the grasp of metal screws, words set free into the hardly breathable airs shared, a confession of solemn honesty echoes beyond the hum of time. Set me free with your eyes, let me cry like a detuned viola forgotten in more dire memories. Snow covered sheeting came with the morning breeze as the trains began to pull out for an untimely shift in spatial consciousness. Allow the whims to subdue the ignorance we feed with nutrients of energies unseen. Collaborate with one's self to shed the comfort of the mind's disillusioned frame, for boundaries are no more than forgotten ink with no place to take shape and translate the unimagined harmonies.

frequencies

rather infrequencies...

boredom brings the release

of things

hindered by dishonesty of

slandered thoughts

go download the FREE EP (click on the cover)

this early morning

the moon is still out, hidden by clouds but still genuinely felt. Dashed by dreamscapes to awake to an un-abided energy calling out in constant revelry: the rain has come to clear the airs! every single tone has something to add to this joyous cheer. sketching the face of my beloved in dreams, learning a new shape and shade of nature reaching out beyond boundaries set by those unknowing. A certain calm falls over this being, this body sculpted for this skewed inner being, so curiously enamoured by the silence only the Earth can speak, which isn't 'silent' at all but rather a deep humming speech. Forever Endowed with Now. with a 'peacetime resistance' comes a new breath to what I only thought I knew, this comfort from another's eyes, opened or closed, beaming from a passed shadow, a place where we all felt alone at one juncture or another. though this chaotic haywire keeps sharing new colours with me, how can I possibly find perception stilled by mere ideas or notions, regardless of where they may be coming from or on what frequency I'm traveling. finding new poetry in the winds played again and again, there's no structure to this flowing vibration we call existence, only that which transforms to the wills we exude. imaginations explode with the fresh smell of african coffee brewing, what isn't from a foreign land these days? One must (and this is the ONLY way possible) orchestrate such morning glories. We must conduct our lives only as such, with brightness. With Love.

nau

there shall never be an 'again'. phosphorescent life climbs from the dingiest shadow imagined, only to blossom in to complete light. basking and reviving the once lamed sensation of living, away from the material gain of levels only attempted to reach. There never was a before or an after, we only recycle what's chosen to be remembered in an unconscious fit of masochism. Forever Now is all we've ever had, the only song that came to mind on windy days, the starlit day-break that shoved suicide to another date. We've lit our lives on fire before, even for an instant un-recalled, disintegrating that looming horror of action's weight, for to create a dream is far more trying than chasing them. be still. listen. manifest from the heart with acceptance and love. what could ever possibly be distracted when so intrinsically attentive? Whole-heartedly admitting to the day's circumstantial elaboration as we embrace time and space. another one on the rocks for the rocky terrain yet to be tried, nothing comes easy: to appreciate simply being in simplicity. please.