THROUGH the chapel perilous and to the light

I hide my sorrows in all I've ever known, I embrace the death that I've lived through on this planetary orbit. I've watched my friends give up without a fight, the fight I know they still embodied, yet this atrocious parlay we exist in, this horrid world we fill, became defeat. Snorting the dust of our dead brothers & sisters till our lungs give out and cherish love no more. Devoid. Vapid. A walking, barren sparse of land called the mind. Alone and distanced all at once, I find no home amongst the treacherous map of the solidified confines of the mind. I speak nothing new and therefore fall upon the silence of my own fading breath. There is no going back, there is no 'there'. Forever confounded by this sickened slick of excrement, this light is shinning bright for only the coming of a new nowhere. Lost sensibility, ruptured hope springs leaks all about me. I know not where I'm going nor where I've ever been. Lost amongst the endless sky. I am forever floating. You may hear my cries when the rain glistens lights after a storm, but be certain that there's not a single drop of dying hope. forever immersed in this cloud of waste, please take heed at what I've created out of haste: a whimpering knot of endless pain. I've felt the tears on my shoulders for ages unwritten, these freckles and moles, mere records of an age immemorial. Remembering why I came & left with each glance at all that's never left. A barren expanse of a golden age, no longer present, but wrought with rage. This is the final hurrah of a dying man, with colorless sight & numbed hands. Reaching out in any direction for a slight reciprocation, they entertain the fool with lost words & plastic smiles. Gone. Gone too far. Far too long. No shrug in sight to lift this weight I see with every move I make. To dissipate into the smallest of dots, a single point forgotten & lost. This is what I wish to be in my brightest hour, a single star in the endless matter. Come forth and throw my face to the concrete so I may possibly feel again and cease to feel unworthy. Do away with me, these allegories. I fade to musk at the dawn's entrance and wish this story upon not a body. Nothing at all seems real anymore, I've lost the will & can't sing the score. Forget me so, this empty identity. Forgive me Mother, for you taught me better.