Hungry Eyes
There seems to be quite a lot of staring going on in the silence/intense, thumping noise of clubs and bars from NY to LA. One of the most obvious and revealing looks during those inaudible hours where a conversation is lost to the scream of basses and beats, is 'the hungry eyes'. This is seriously a new language forming here, especially for those of us too shy to ever try (shit, I'll be honest, this includes myself) a damn thing and instead, end up cursing yourself the entire cab ride home. There are a multitude of variations to the hungry eyes that have been witnessed, some familiar, some as shocking as the plus symbol on a pregnancy test found in your daughter's trash can. There's the usual and most innocent, kind, gentle, inviting set of eyes, saying, "come over and say hi". Things get a bit sultry with the obviously beckoning pair of hungry eyes that nearly sing to you a sweet siren's song. And sometimes things get rough, a tad desperate, even straight up delirious, and out comes 'the starving eyes,' or yet, the 'i wanna inhale and engulf you' eyes. The latter being the most obvious and even slightly scary or frightening, depending on the peepers they're shot from. Just tonight in fact, this him/shim/she/herm in the most unflattering, mod, grey and black stripped dress (open back to portray her aging folds), was giving my friend the 'i'm homeless and hungry' starving eyes.
An entire spectrum exists in the realm of the hungry eyes. There can be the "ooo la la!" reaction from the firey eyes of a beautiful bird, and then there can be the "oooooh hell naw!" intrusive and annoying stare some creep can send your way. Like life, you gotta take the bad with the good. Just make sure you know what kinda hungry eyes you're displaying and to whom it may concern. No one wants to fall into the deep abyss of the unwanted hungry eyes.
Back to tonight.
Sitting against the wall on this oversized wooden bench, watching the youngins with fake IDs dance and wiggle their bodies to shitty tunes (YES! NY does NOT play good music at most venues!), when out of the crowd worms this TANKED chick and her bridge and tunnel boyfriend nearly holding her up. She sits down and is remarkably able to take her camera out of her purse. This classy lady had a different set of hungry eyes, we'll dub these the creepy leprechaun eyes, like that lil dude from the leprechaun movies, glazed with a tint of evil intent lurking behind the glassy stare. She begins to snap photos, she nearly takes one of herself first hardly taking notice that the camera lens is actually facing her own mug. Those leprechaun eyes were up to no good when I found them staring. Next thing ya know, she tries to be a drunken-sneaky, gold-hording imp and creep from behind her boyfriend to snap a photo of my friend and I who are simply sitting, awaiting the hopes of a good track to listen to at this random party. I turn my entire body to block this, you'd think such body language would be enough. Not for this broad. She seats herself next to me, basically shoving her body against mine, and begins to slur some inaudible blah blah to me while holding the camera towards us as if saying "hey, get in the picture!" I give her the 'is you crazy???' look and kindly tell her no thanks. Them eyes light up with a severe confusion, still hungry for some crumb and determined to get a bite. I turn again to talk to my friend, telling him about this nutty creature when suddenly a flash explodes from behind my head and I see my friend saying, "you can't just do that." Apparently, she did a shark move and slowly snuck up to the surface (around my head) to grab a mouthful. Hungry trick. She tries again and again to take pictures with us and as kindly as humanly possible, we ask her not to take pictures of us. Insatiable hunger overwhelms her and she starts to slur some more sludge from her mouth till we flee and have a cigarette out front.
Ladies, point of advice: don't get too drunk and send this last type of hungry eyes. They aren't flattering AT ALL, for anyone, after a point in the night.
What ever happened to taking it slow or just getting to know someone before rushing into the raging fires of hell? or is that just the old fashioned prune in me?
p.s. know your dealer
