non-sense

I call bullshit. Major bullshit. In fact, I completely refuse to believe it all together. It must be a trick, a facade, a joke! Please let it all be a joke actually, forreals. Because it's really difficult to accept as a human being who believes we're all worth a chance. What I'm talking about is something concerning me, I don't really know exactly how to put it so I will simply just go. I look on the internet and see these people, people being given (or being tossed into the tides of) fame, for some sort of 'talent'. Be it an artist, a frisbee trick champ, a style blogger or even someone to laugh or gawk at on youtube, to me, they all seem to have one thing in common: they seem to be rich or well off - meaning, pretty much they don't work a real job and have too much free time and money (so it seems). I'm not complaining or saying that things are 'unfair' or that they have it better than anyone else, for all we know, they could be drastically depressed or insecure and the only bandaide is notoriety and attention, kinda sad actually. But that's not my point, what I am getting at is the state of affairs that only allows such privileged people the opportunity and attention to be catapulted into such states of attention and fame. I can't imagine a style blogger who wears the latest kmart or thrift/hand-me-down clothes and gets over 80,000 followers on Instagram or gets their own column in WWD or Vogue, it just doesn't happen. It use to be that the vagrants, the weirdos, the degenerates (those who actually had something original to share), were the ones that became artists, that created new perspectives and modalities to translate their unique view of life...and now who is in the galleries or on the auction block at Sotheby's? Some young cunt who's mommy and daddy paid their way through some expensive art school and they got the backing of some other rich fuck as a patron who figured they could advertise and market them cleverly, regardless of the fact this artist has nothing to say or share with their art, and now they sell their mindless and empty paintings for $100,000 a pop? And this is not being said because they have no talent or are some random anomaly, but rather simply because they were given the means to have all the free time they'd want, all of their expenses paid for, and were given the correct surroundings to help them thrive in one specific modality, basically, they had money before making more silly money, and thus creating a closed cycle.

So what now? What does a poor (and I mean poor, like I gotta hustle for my food poor) striving artist do in such an arena where the contenders are wrought with fancy and expensive tools, or pumped up beyond natural means with the latest super juice/drug to trick the audiences, or just simply able to stand on a golden soapbox and grab attention with a bullhorn of state-of-the-art sonic technology so as no one can possibly hear the murmurs you're actually making? Whispers so deeply involved and entwined with the message that there is a better way to being on this planet, a healthier way of love and discovery, not the banal and stagnant ways of capitalism and ego, the very frame-structure that these heartless and mindless 'talents' base their entireties upon: a crumbling relic of a paradigm.

Well I don't know exactly 'what' to do, but I know what i 'can' do. I can keep trying. I can never give up. I can never be too proud or too egotistical to think for a moment that I am better or am at the top. I can keep believing in humanity and carry on hope to proliferate everywhere I go. I can keep shinning and not let the lower frequencies jumble my tones. I can keep loving, like I've never been loved before.

(this is an excerpt/draft of a coming essay I'm working on)

Brightest reminders

The majesty of something so indescribable, the wonder space creates, the joy of discovery. Blessings treasured with my loved tribe, together we vibe along a resonance of holy love. Sharing and exploring new boundaries undefined. Absolute in it all. Undrawn and unhindered we learn together. Share with me, pretty please. I embrace your eyes meeting mine with honesty. The stars speak new chimes of lessons yet to be experienced. And excitement rings so loudly, screaming out in neon shades of gold. There's no focal point for all of this matters. It's all happening just as it should be.

so time has motion

It's been a long while since I've posted on this blog, my only real blog actually. It's also been a long while since I've actually had the peace of mind and soul to sit and think things out as it seems the past two years have blinked, blurred and blown by with only scars left as recognition that any of it happened. Much has happened, much hasn't and never will happen, but what else is there aside from NOW?

So I've begun creating lots of things, exploring lots of things. The digital world will never make much sense to me, as I believe it's reached a crescendo of interface ability and can only get more weird and spun off in the coming times. With that said, I still post on my instagram and my tumblr and now here I suppose, as a conscious action and choice to reach out to whoever else is wandering the intraweb with their digital appendages, but for what exactly? My answer: to connect. For as hesitant as we are in the physical dimension, we should not be so apprehensive in the digital. Yes it is still us, or rather a version of us, an avatar, but still, there is some essence I believe, something living within our digitized personas. So let us connect. Let us not be, or become, idle voyeurs, mentally masturbating our curiosities by merely viewing life, or this digitized life, at a distance, from the imaginary safe havens we assume we're in. To me, it is only through direct communication and connection that we can become expressions of the true intentions of the designers and creators of the internet: to connect and spread HONEST-conscious experience and understanding with one another, to question our seemingly 'bound' understanding of what it means to be human and on this planet, for someday soon we won't have the opportunities we have today, right NOW.

And to share with this digital world, a bit of what I've been creating, here's an image from the book/collection of assemblage/collage pieces I've been working on for the past few months. Just finished the book of 98 pieces last week and had to spend many many many hours at UCI scanning them, luckily for me they have a large format scanner for me to utilize. here's a sneak peak at what's to come.