non-sense

I call bullshit. Major bullshit. In fact, I completely refuse to believe it all together. It must be a trick, a facade, a joke! Please let it all be a joke actually, forreals. Because it's really difficult to accept as a human being who believes we're all worth a chance. What I'm talking about is something concerning me, I don't really know exactly how to put it so I will simply just go. I look on the internet and see these people, people being given (or being tossed into the tides of) fame, for some sort of 'talent'. Be it an artist, a frisbee trick champ, a style blogger or even someone to laugh or gawk at on youtube, to me, they all seem to have one thing in common: they seem to be rich or well off - meaning, pretty much they don't work a real job and have too much free time and money (so it seems). I'm not complaining or saying that things are 'unfair' or that they have it better than anyone else, for all we know, they could be drastically depressed or insecure and the only bandaide is notoriety and attention, kinda sad actually. But that's not my point, what I am getting at is the state of affairs that only allows such privileged people the opportunity and attention to be catapulted into such states of attention and fame. I can't imagine a style blogger who wears the latest kmart or thrift/hand-me-down clothes and gets over 80,000 followers on Instagram or gets their own column in WWD or Vogue, it just doesn't happen. It use to be that the vagrants, the weirdos, the degenerates (those who actually had something original to share), were the ones that became artists, that created new perspectives and modalities to translate their unique view of life...and now who is in the galleries or on the auction block at Sotheby's? Some young cunt who's mommy and daddy paid their way through some expensive art school and they got the backing of some other rich fuck as a patron who figured they could advertise and market them cleverly, regardless of the fact this artist has nothing to say or share with their art, and now they sell their mindless and empty paintings for $100,000 a pop? And this is not being said because they have no talent or are some random anomaly, but rather simply because they were given the means to have all the free time they'd want, all of their expenses paid for, and were given the correct surroundings to help them thrive in one specific modality, basically, they had money before making more silly money, and thus creating a closed cycle.

So what now? What does a poor (and I mean poor, like I gotta hustle for my food poor) striving artist do in such an arena where the contenders are wrought with fancy and expensive tools, or pumped up beyond natural means with the latest super juice/drug to trick the audiences, or just simply able to stand on a golden soapbox and grab attention with a bullhorn of state-of-the-art sonic technology so as no one can possibly hear the murmurs you're actually making? Whispers so deeply involved and entwined with the message that there is a better way to being on this planet, a healthier way of love and discovery, not the banal and stagnant ways of capitalism and ego, the very frame-structure that these heartless and mindless 'talents' base their entireties upon: a crumbling relic of a paradigm.

Well I don't know exactly 'what' to do, but I know what i 'can' do. I can keep trying. I can never give up. I can never be too proud or too egotistical to think for a moment that I am better or am at the top. I can keep believing in humanity and carry on hope to proliferate everywhere I go. I can keep shinning and not let the lower frequencies jumble my tones. I can keep loving, like I've never been loved before.

(this is an excerpt/draft of a coming essay I'm working on)